A&E room
by FaiNeko
Summary: Be in a A&E room can take your humanity away, but are times when you see things that left you with your mouth hanging open or wanting to laugh hard, when I met this two I my life in A&E took a very interesting turn. "Oi!Practice safe sex!" AU, Janto.


Well I am European and we call things a bit different than in America, I am going to be talking in this story about a common place in hospitals called A&E (accident & emergency) or ED (emergency department) or ER (emergency room), all are the same place, just for all of us to understand what I am talking about hehehehe.

This story is dedicated to my big sister Kuromitsu and one of my best friends riftintime, for your two that are part of my life.

Thank you for read this story, my first attempt of comedy and Janto. I hope to read your reviews about this story, I hope to shake off the angst and drama of almost all my stories.

This story is a mix between first and third person write.

Enjoy

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Being in an A&E room is not something easy, you always have to deal with things that really shock you to the core, like kids that are bleeding to death because their parents don't know a thing about taking care of them or others that were beaten to death for a stupid guy who doesn't know babies cry when they need something. All this and more can make you hate humanity and treat them like the scum some are, like the drunk who got in a crash accident, killing an old lady that was walking to give her husband dinner, or the drug addict who thought it was a good idea to jump in the middle of traffic, causing a havoc and injuring kids because their mom didn't see the car approaching her own. All these kinds of things, those things start to kill your humanity bit by bit.

But there are things that make you border between a good laugh or keeping you with your mouth hanging open for the shock.

These are just some of the things that happened to me in the two months that I started to meet Jack Harkness and his lover Ianto Jones.

My name is Owen Harper and these are some of the most bizarre sexual A&E occurrences in the University Hospital of Wales in Cardiff.

My first time waswith a leopard-patterned dildo, was in one of those times in A&E when it is calm and relaxing, we like to call it the peace before the storm, we are usually on edge but joking around and in my case relaxing in one of the beds,reading some porn disguised like one of the latest medical magazine. There was a small coughing sound at my side.

"Yes, Colwyn, what you want?" I ask a bit cranky because I was coming to a good part in my fantasy world.

"Dr. Owen, we need you to see this, we don't know what to do," says Colwyn, one of the new recruits that are under GP Owen Harper's care in the A&E. To the eyes of GP Owen the young man looks flustered and nervous; that piques GP Owen's curiosity, usually he demands the prognosis and sends them to do their work, but times like this make it worth his time there.

With a smirk GP Owen walks behind Colwyn; they stop at the front of one curtain, those are only used when one case is particularly nasty for other patients to watch, or when the patient is stable, ready to transfer to another hall of the hospital, where a specialist is going to take the case.

Owen is waiting for Colwyn to open the curtain, but he is just there standing and trying not to move and almost disappear; that makes Owen curious, he knows the saying about curiosity. But just this time, curiosity turns in his own special pervert show.

He dismisses Colwyn in a rare attempt of mercy for the kid;he moves to the edge of the curtain, like unwrapping a gift and walks past it, the first he sees is a very handsome bloke murmuring something to another bloke who is in bed.

"Hello, I am GP Owen Harper, I am here to attend to…" Owen takes the chart of information of the case. "Ianto Jones," he looks up and sees two pairs of blue eyes watching him.

"Doctor, he is Ianto Jones, and I am Jack Harkness," Owen looks unimpressed by the dashing smile of the Jack bloke.

"Ok." Owen moves closer to Ianto and addresses him, "And what is the problem Ianto?"

"I, well… um… have one…" Ianto murmurs

"Sorry, but a what?" says Owen surprised.

"He has a dildo stuck in his ass," says Jack touching tenderly the hair of Ianto.

"Oh, ok," Owen can see how embarrassed Ianto Jones is with it all, he tries not to smirk or make any comment, he doesn't know them now, but he can't help the amusement of all.

When he sees the ass of Ianto with the dildo, he can't help the small chuckle because he sees the dildo is ON in the highest vibration, he turns it OFF rolling his eyes, these people at times are just too much.

He starts to remove the dildo from the rectum of a very embarrassed Ianto; he can't help but to watch the reaction of Jack, who is between worried and aroused by the sight.

When the dildo is out, Owen can hear the sigh from Ianto, but he laughs because the dildo is leopard patterned! And Jack tells him, "I am going to need that one, please." Owen laughs more and delivers the dildo in a plastic bag.

These people are unbelievable at times. He thought he was never going to see those to, but live is a mystery because from then on, he became their personal doctor like Jack calls him.

Two weeks from that incident Jack returns with Ianto in his arms, he has a big lump on his forehead and looks disoriented. Owen looks at them and frowns, but he walks to them.

"What you did to him this time, Harkness!" he barks angrily, checking Ianto's eyes.

"Take him to the bed," he orders.

"What did he do to you this time, Ianto?" he asks Ianto to see his reactions and awareness.

"I was in bed and the portrait that is on the wall fell on me," says Ianto blushing.

"We were having sex and the thing just fell on Ianto," this comment makes the blushing more pronounced.

"I suggest for the next time for you two to be more cautious and take away all that could fall when your bed hits the wall repeatedly," says Owen shaking his head and finishing filling the order for Ianto to be taken with the neurologist for a full check up.

"We will," Jack says, really concerned. That was one dangerous moment. In the end Ianto was fine to be realeased,he had just a major headache.

The following week he saw the two covered with a blanket over their most likely naked bodies. Ianto was on top of Jack; he was leaning over the face of the other, when Owen came near them he could see that Ianto's necklace was stuck in the eyelid of Jack. Owen rushed to check on them.

Ianto was trying hard not to move but he was getting tired, they were trying to cut the necklace without pull it off or move it too much because Jack's eye was in real danger. This time Owen is really worried because one pull or move could damage the eye of Jack.

After cutting the necklace, Ianto came down off Jack, totally naked. Owen took off his white coat and pulls it over Ianto, telling him they were going to do all that was necessary to check Jack and keep him healthy.

Ianto was really worried and leans over Owen's side, murmuring his gratitude.

When they part Owen tells Ianto to take off all kind of jewelry when they engage in those activities. Ianto nods with regret in his eyes. Jack just looks at him and winks with his eye that is not under a bandage; Jack slaps Ianto's ass. Owen shakes his head knowing that is not going to stop those two, but maybe it is going to make it all safer, but he is sure they are going to keep doing their interesting acts.

The next time is 3 weeks later, this time Ianto enters the A&E screaming. Owen runs when he sees the usually pale man paler and Jack shaking with concern. They take Ianto and examine him, he has his ankle broken.

They stabilize it and take Ianto to another room where an orthopedist is going to take the case. Jack stays with Owen.

"You know after all I have seen with you two, I could file a violence complaint, but I know you care about him, what happened?" asks Owen.

"We were having sex on the stairs, you know doggy style,and I pushed him too hard, he fell."

"An accident I know, don't you ever consider vanilla sex?"

"But where is the emotion in that?"

"It is safer."

"Yes it is."

Ianto ends with a cast on his leg, but he looks happy to see Jack waiting for him. Owen can see their love.

"Oi!" Owen calls after them. "Practice safe sex!"

Ianto and Jack laugh.

End

FaiNeko.


End file.
